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Sunday, February 1

The doctrine of alimony in today's society


Alimony (not to be confused with child support) is an established doctrine in divorce cases, designed to maintain the standard of living of a dependent spouse at levels maintained during the marriage. The ideological basis has been that marriage is a social and economic contract between two people whose obligations do not end with a divorce. The same ideological basis has been applied to couples who simply have lived together. The most famous case, that of the late Lee Marvin led to the adoption of the term “palimony.” When the famous Hollywood actor split with his live-in partner Michelle after 6 years of co-habitation, the court awarded her $104,000 for "rehabilitation purposes" but denied her community property claim for one-half of the $3.6 million which Marvin had earned during that period. Later, the decision was reversed, but in the meantime it had created new grounds for questioning the concept of “alimony” or “palimony” according to which the primary wage-earner should be obliged to maintain the standard of living of the other partner.

In the past, the law benefited mostly women as they were the dependent spouse but as women have been involved in the work force far more intensely than in the past and since often they are the prime wage–earners, the alimony doctrine has hit them as hard as it has hit men. Now that it has, we have started hearing all sorts of complains about the unfairness of the doctrine. In the Forbes article Women Increasingly Paying Alimony we read the story of Kim Shamsky, a 47-year-old business owner who pays her ex, a 65-year-old retired Major League Baseball player, thousands per month in temporary spousal support (they don’t have any kids). It looks like that she built her business on her own without his assistance. She is so frustrated that she has started printing T-shirts with the word “PRENUP” in the front.

The percentage of alimony recipients who are male has risen to 3.6% from 2001-2006 from 2.4%, in the previous five-year period, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. That percentage is likely to rise even more given that more and more primary wage-earners are female. In 2005 wives out earned their husbands in 33% of all families, up from 28.2% the decade before.

The alimony doctrine has come under attack, most often when women have to foot the bill. Controversy has also arisen over the way alimony is implemented. We have rehabilitative alimony which lasts until the receiving spouse is either financially independent or enters into a cohabiting relationship with another person. But we also have lifetime alimony that has led many spouses complain that their ex is simply freeloading on money they have not earned.

Recently the story of Dr. Richard Batista has attracted media attention. While married, he donated a kidney to his wife. Now that they are getting divorced, he demands $1.5 million in compensation for the kidney. Or as he said in a Larry King interview, he wants the court to co-assess the donated organ when the judge decides on alimony payments. One suspects that he has resorted to that demand to lower the potential alimony payment to his ex (given that he is a successful surgeon).


So the question is: Would you demand alimony from your ex if he/she were the prime wage earner? (Do not confuse it with child support, the two doctrines are totally different).

136 comments:

dr123 said...

I think that this should be handled on a case by case basis. I have been in a relationship with the same person for almost 15 years and we have built our lives on the foundation of sharing everything (this includes a joint bank account). If something were to cause us to not be in a relationship anymore, then I would expect nothing more than to split everything down the middle, cut ties and go our separate ways. On the other hand, I have friends that have sacrificed education and careers to stay at home and raise their families. In these cases, I believe that there should be compensation and support. I think that there are exceptions to everything...I say case by case!

Between_Hope_and _Fear26 said...

No i would not! If I were married and my husband was making most of the money, then if we got a divorce, i would let him keep his money. i plan on being very successful in my life and if i get married i want to keep my money and his money seperate. We never really know anyone and if one day he leaves me and takes all our money, theres going to be nothing i can do. i think that my ex husband should realize that i worked hard for my money and now that we are no longer together we have both choosen to live our lifes without each other so i shouldn't have to keep paying for his lifestyle if i'm no longer married to him.

Karina Ramos said...

I agree with dr123. When you share so much of your life with someone, you basically become ONE with that person. You share everything with that person. Regardless if the husband is out making money and the wife is at home taking care of the house or vise versa both have put in a equal amount of work into their relationship and family. They should split it right down the middle and keep moving on with their own lives. Again, this is a case by case situation because different people have different things going on so you can't really base it on one case.

John Deere Green said...

I would not expect alimony out of my spouse. Once I divorce thats my right to freedom and for my spouse to pay me alimony is an attachment. There is no reason i can't go out and get a job to support myself. If a person is responsible enough to make a deciscion about getting a divorce then they are quite capable of getting off their butt and getting a job. I am basing this descision on the fact the i have no kids. If i had kids I would expect child support, but since i don't i don't think it's fair to ask my exhusband to continue to support me. I can understand a temporary
alimony until the spouse is up on their feet, but not for life that's ridiculous to me.So no i would not ask for alimony from my spouse if we divorced.

BearsAreNaturesLions said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
smmy589 said...

I completely agree with dr123, it should be a case by case deal. I am a perfectly healthy single female i would not except my ex- husband to pay for me to live my life. If we decide (together) to get a divorce, but if came home one day and was like I'm having an affair and want a divorce i would expect something in return for my waisted time. Then there is the case of the people that give up school for their other halves, I feel like the other person should pay as long as they are in school that way they can become something. Now if it comes down to of someone just being lazy then no they should not receive alimony!

shannanigans said...

If both people are working, then I don't see how receiving a bill for your personal success is very just. Alimony, or palimony, should NOT be considered just to make the income-inequality balanced.
If there is only one bread winner, and the other is unemployed with no responsibility to family (partnership without kiddies), they have made this their way of life, by choice. These situations came to be by way of two people's conscious decisions. It seams unfair to go after what you didn't help build, especially when you agreed from the start not to help build it.

The only reasonable situation where alimony should be allotted, would be if even after child support(not alimony, child support) was granted, the caregiver could not regain the social status he or she had before the union was formed.

If you give up your career to raise a family, and cannot get back to where you started financially you should be given help until you reach that beginning income, and then get cut off.
With in a reasonable amount of time of course.

Fundakat319 said...

personally i do think that if in the case of alimony that the spouse or the other hand of the relationship should take the responsibility to "share" if you will the earnings. regardless as to what the reason unless there be a substantial clause such as stated before where the person as well as the judge feel that the spouse is only asking for the allotted amount just because "they feel as though they deserve it after putting up with the circumstances for so long", in which i feel yes is just a pitiful excuse to get more out of the person. it is so much easier to deal with cases like this when there aren't so many other elements involved, like with the man and his kidney, its just ridiculous to ask for that much from his wife because obviously he would have never given her the kidney to begin with if he didn't love her (i feel of course) no matter if they were getting a divorce or not, he is a doctor himself he knows that in at least half a year or mores time he will have received that amount back. its unfair and selfish the acts these people take especially when they have so much money they don't know who to give it to or why!

lyn said...

I think it depends on the situation. If I have a good job that pays well but not as well as my ex, then no. I wont demand alimony. Yet, if I did not have a good job that does not pay me well, I will still not demand alimony. If I was say a stay at home mom/dad while he/she works then i will definitely demand alimony especially if he/she is the one that insisted I stay home and not work. But other than that i wont demand money i rather keep what i earned and let my ex keep what he/she earned before and during the marriage.

Redder said...

I think it all depends on the case. Most of the comments are the same but i think that it all depends on the situation. They can be togther forever and put in the same amount of work and the split up. Who gets the more or deserves more , i think it should be split down the middle depending on certain situations. If they were just staying home and doing nothing then they dont deserve anything but if they put their share in it then they do deserve to split down the middle. Like dr123 said it should be case to case. Cause that is how the world wrks case by case there is no certain rule for anyhting and we dont follow it and there is always loop holes around anything

Xx Human Rights xX said...

Not only should we look at the facts on a case by case basis, but we should look at the past abuses of alimony recipients to realize why closer regulation is necessary. Imagine a primary wage earning father suffering and robbing peter to pay paul, only to find out that his ex-wife is blowing that money on her new and hidden boyfriend. This is a real life example from someone that I know personally. There are many people, both male and female that abuse alimony and use it as a weapon. In many cases it is fair. In most however, I belive it is unfair. I just had this discussion with my girlfriend and she thinks that the man should pay in ANY case and that it is his RIGHT and RESPONSIBILITY no matter what, primary wage earner or not. I understand her traditional way of thinking although I don't agree with her entirely. I think that she doesn't realize that women have been pushing for equal rights and equal pay and are making progress. The institution of Alimony will always be unfair to some degree, but all I want is for the law to apply to men the same way it applies to women, and for the cases to be decided not by precedents, but by each individual's case and scenarios. I'm talking about tax returns, sacrifices, infidelity, abuse, and all the facts. Then afterwards, they make an educated decision about the facts of each individual case. Alimony may be controversial at times, especially in hollywood (Lionel Richie's Divorce), but I think that Alimony is a necessary evil where even though some are treated unjustly, it protects people from those who might want to use finances as a weapon.

!SmAshley&BaxterBaby! said...

No i would not demand alimony. I have firm beliefs that each person in the relationship should be in some way providing for the family. Bringing in their share of finances to supprt each other. Even have a seperate and joint bank account so if a problem did occur in the relationship no one person would be left with nothing, I have seen to many cases that end in that way. There should, however, be a judge on how the money that has been built up over time ought to be seperated between the two indiviuals. It is to easy for the individual requesting for the alimony to cheat the system. As long as the court doesnt know the person is involved with someone else after the fact of the divorce, they could be recieving money for a longer period than they should, practicully stealing. I honestly dont think someone living off of someone elses earnings is fair. People now days are to lazy to get off their couch and do anything to benefit themselves when an opportunity for them to basically be handed income presents itself. There is only one exception to my thoughts and that would be if one of the spouses is handicap and can not work for certain reasons then the healthful person should be held responsible for them unless a family member is willing to do so.

Valrico Gee said...

Definitely!
My husband and I made the decision very early in our marriage that I would forego college and a career in order to stay at home with the children. It has been a decision that neither one of us has regretted. Now that all of our children have left home to begin their own lives, I am beginning mine in a different direction. I am the last one in our family to attend college.
Because of our mutual decision, I would ask for and expect alimony if we should decide to divorce. I have no way of supporting myself should this happen. I don't think I would expect it as a life long commitment. I think it should be until one is established in a career. Of course in my situation, I have supported my spouse with child care, home care, and emotional support as he established his career. I do think I should be compensated for this with the consideration of my spouse having supported me during the same time. Age would become a factor for me also. At my age, a career wouldn't provide a retirement as I would have had we decided differently at the beginning of our marriage.
With everything considered, I think my husband and I have agreed that our investment is worth remaining just the way it is. Besides I do think I have had the better end of the agreement - 30 years with a the best man ever!

cesca23 said...

Yes, I would demand alimony if my ex is the prime wage earner but it is based on a few factors. First, if we are married or have kids or even I have not been working for quite some time then it might be hard for me to get a job or even a job with a resonable pay to meet my same life style right away. But if we are together and I do have sometime of income I should have have to downgrade my lifestyle my income should be consider and alimony should be based on that. Now, I do believe it should be the same with both sexes so if the woman or man is the primary earner it shouldn't matter. Then again... I think this should be a case by case and it should be based on the situation.

tori said...

I think it really depends on the situation. When i get married i plan on combining my account with my husbands, as long as he doesn't go out and buy eveything in sight. I also plan on having a career to make money but when I have kids I want to be able to stay home with my child or at least until the child is in school. There is the posibilty of getting pregnant before I finish college and if i don't finish college and stay home with my child and for some reason there is a divorce I would expect to have alimony to finish college and to get the job i wanted before getting pregnant. Becuase before getting pregnant that was what i was planing on doing. Plus I would want to have a good job to support my child and get my child nice things. Now say if I was married and I finished what i wanted to and I had a good job before having a child then no i would not expect alimony because i have my degree and I have a good job. And in that case the money in the bank account and stuff would be split down the middle along with all the assets between the two of us. So i agree it should be based on case by case situation.

Styefn89 said...

I believe marriage is for life (until death do us part). It's meant to be an unbreakable covenant/commitment - not a contract that can be taken lightly. I realize that relationships have their ups and downs, but I believe there are ways to prevent divorce at all costs. For example, my parents got to know and trust each other before marriage, they took the decision of marriage seriously, and agreed that divorce was not ever an option (they got married at the ages of 19 and 20). Even though they have encountered many difficulties and have had their differences, they have now been married for over 20 years because they let the hard times bring them closer together rather than to separate them.

So, if two people who became ONE in marriage wish to end the relationship, I don't think they can expect to reap any benefits from the other person any longer (alimony). They are consciously deciding to cut all ties - divorcing their partner along with his/her money. This is one of the direct consequences of breaking such a sacred commitment.

Nurse73 said...

The answer is: Yes, I would demand alimony from my ex especially if he is the soul provider of the marriage. Coming from actual experience...I probably would have not demanded payments as such in the divorce creed, but what influenced my decision was the fact that the marriage wasn't honored and indeed broken by vows by my ex...leaving him responsible and therefore having to pay for the bed he made. There is absolutely nothing wrong with paying alimony or demanding it especially if the higher earning partner can afford it and if the other spouse is left with accrued debts and high financial obligations. Alimony is rehabilitative and should be temporary until the partner is financially or academically strong enough to stand for his/her self.

Alimony is not an unjustified decision by the courts even though it is looked upon as a punishment. It serves a purpose and unfortunately there are people that abuse the payments...but to each there own and it's no one's business how people spend their money....no matter where it comes from.

Krys said...

People in America who this, disgust me; why would anyone want to have to depend on another human being for survival? I do not understand the greediness of people just over money. I am a classier person than that. I have also looked at divorce as a negative thing, so the faster and the easier it can be done with the better for me. But also if you are not 110% sure you want to be someone for the rest of your life then DO NOT marry them. There are way to many people getting divorced now a days, and most of it is because they either work to much or there is no communication. I think what the doctor is doing to his ex-wife is horrible to force someone to give you money or their organ back (which would cause them to die) is a terrible thing to do to someone. Not only did he embarrass her in front of the world by broadcasting their relationship to everyone but now he demands she give him money or die? Who made him god?

BearsAreNaturesLions said...

I'm not going to argue on this topic. I believe alimony is total, utter horse manure. The sooner this is doneay with the better imo.

Styefn89 is on the exact same page I am. I believe in integrity and keeping your word. When you take marriage vows you have given your word to your spouse in the presence of faimly, friends and God. If you break your word, you aren't worth much. There is always the hope of forgiveness and rebuilding trust, but your word is sacred.

Integrity is sorely lacking in society today, I think the majority of people think it is an outdated, quaint notion. It is extremely important to me.

It's not about getting ahead through any means necessary, it's not about looking out for you, it's not about watching the money pile up.

It's about doing what you know is right regardless of if it makes you a pariah, or made fun of, of thought poorly of falsely.

Do what is right. Your honor is important. It matters.

Young men, your honor matters, treat the ladies with respect, assist those who are weaker than you, speak kind words and don't be quick to anger.

Young ladies, your honor matters, don't sell yourself short by imitating the images you see and hear in the media. Be kind, be graceful. Embrace the strength you have as women but don't discard the beauty and power of your femininity.

Athena Smith said...

I see you guys have strong opposing views on the matter.
Although in the past, a former spouse was awarded alimony until she remarried or died, now things have somewhat changed. As many of you said, the judge decides each case on its own merits. A person who has been married many years is more likely to be awarded alimony than somebody who stayed married for a short while.

When alimony is awarded, it is expected that the recipient will try to become self-sufficient and thus the judge dictates certain terms, such as upgrading education, etc. Alimony can be permanet if the spouse is incapable of getting an education... etc.
In Florida a law has passed that deprives a recipient of alimony payments even when he/she moves in with another partner.

BearsAreNaturesLions said...
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BearsAreNaturesLions said...
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NaniShauna said...

I also think that it is a case by case. If there are children and everything was shared, then yes I would expect 1/2 of everything. also, if there were no children involved, but lets say the primary bread winner was a lawyer and the other spouse didnt have to work but he/she helped the other one out a great deal with business affairs, then yes 1/2 should go between the two. But, if it were the case of a husband and wife and the husband worked 24/7 and all the wife did was spend money and be glamorous then hell no. She shouldn't get a dime. She didnt earn it.

M314J said...

No I wouldn't demand alimony from my spouse. Being independent all my life, I wouldn't want to rely on someone giving me money, even if its my ex-husband. I also wouldn't want to be an at home mom. I don't think it would be fair for my husband to do all the work, and pay all the bills. I think it should be equal between the us. Alternate on laundry, dishes, grocerys, kids, etc. Personally, I wouldn't feel right taking alimony from him if we're not together anymore.

But it could also depend on the situation. Just like DR123 said...'it should be handled case by case'. Its only fair for both sides.

cashmere said...

I'm on the case by case side. A judge should look at all the facts and which ever spouse wants alimony should have a set time frame for becoming independent.

I personally believe children are better off with a full time Mom at home. OK, OK...some Dads are good at home too! If the marriage breaks up isn't it better for the children if BOTH Mom and Dad have decent jobs? One of them (could) die or become disabled; there are no guarantees in life!

So, yes I think alimony may be needed on a case by case review.

BadgeBunny said...

I wouldn't request alimony simply because he was the primary wage-earner. I like to think that I can take care of myself, I'm not afraid to work. If I had no income, or very little, I'd request it long enough to become independent. If we earned basically the same amount of money, I'd go my way and let him go his.
But every situation is unique. I understand people become accustomed to living certain lifestyles and although divorce changes that you'd still need time to come to grips with it both emotionally and financially.
As far as the woman having to pay, as long as the same guidelines are used, I'm cool. What's fair for the goose is fair for the gander.

BadgeBunny said...

Styefn89,
I disagree with you on divorce being prevented at all costs. I agree that marriage shouldn't be taken lightly but it takes both parties to make it work, obviously both of your parents were willing to put in the time and effort. A lot of people take that "Till Death Do We Part" literally, do you watch Snapped? If my spouse wants out, I'd rather he divorce me than have him hire a hit man to kill me.

BadgeBunny said...

Does anyone remember that case that was in the newspaper about a year ago? The guy was ordered to pay lifelong alimony to his ex-wife and a few years after the divorce she ended up having a sex change operation. He went back to court to try and have it overturned since same sex marriage isn't legal in his state. He was DENIED, he still has to pay.

BadgeBunny said...

Ok, I'm getting ready to get off of this blog because I really need to study. BUT, I believe in the state of FL you don't have to be divorced to request alimony. I'm not sure if that has changed or not but I remember back in the 90s the ex-wife of tennis star Boris Becker was granted alimony and they were still married and living together. Needless to say, that lead to him divorcing her.

Athena Smith said...

You are right BadgeBunny
In the state of Florida you can get alimony from an ex-live-in partner!

NotOfThisWorld said...
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NotOfThisWorld said...

I am from the old school; I believe in all parts of marriage:"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part." If divorce was ever a question, yes I would demand alimony if he was the primary bread winner, but if I was the prime wage-earner, I would expect the same from him and want to help him until he got on his feet. I believe in the power of a wedding vow which is a promise that two people make to each other. I see vows as a life-long agreement, contract, or covenant between two people. A marriage is unity until the end. It does not matter what a person earns, gains, or owns before a marriage; when a man and a women unite, they become one and what is his is now hers and what is hers is now his. That is what a marriage is all about two becoming one.

TheSoulEater said...

Chalk up another one for the "case by case" side.

I mean, if I had a job, there's no way I'd demand alimony. Even if I wasn't the primary bread-winner, I'd still have some means of supporting myself, and that's good enough. We split up, make a clean break, and bam. It's done.

But if I'm a stay-at-home dad, that's different. You'd basically be throwing me out on my ass, and that's just not fair. I'd want compensation, and I'd need some kind of support.

I think we can all agree that lifelong alimony is ridiculous, though. If my ex finds a job or remarries, then why the heck am I still paying her? It's blatant abuse of the system, on the exact same level as welfare fraud.

akillies said...

Alimony is a sensitive subject. Times have changed over the years and so have people. I grew up in a house hold where my mom was the one who raised us. My dad was around but was not the one to talk to when you had a problem with school or other vrious things in life. I do believe there should be alimony allowances. Money unfortunately runs this world and determines what, how, where, and when people are permitted to do things. For example a mother with four kids wants the best and nicest things for them. Child support helps with the food doctor and little daily expenses A little bit of extra money like alimony from the other parent could help those kids be involved in an extra curicular activity after school to keep them out of trouble. In all actuality it could make a little difference or big difference depending on the kid or family how or why alimony should be involved.

Athena Smith said...

Krys
I don't think he actually wants the kidney back... he wants his organ donation to be co-assessed....

luckydawg said...

Me personally being divorced feel that no one should get alimony. Me and my Ex-wife both agreed that neither would recieve alimony payments. Just because someone makes more money in the relationship they should not have to pay the other after a divorce. Alimony in my opinion is just a way for the other to be a free loader. Do the right thing and both of you should have jobs since in todays society having dual incomes is necessary to live especially here in FL.

Nilo said...

If my husband and I have invested time in constructing something together that will provide an income and later for some reason we get a divorce and he retains that income source, I think it is fair to share whatever money he makes with me because we built that income source together. I don't think it is fair that he has to give me anything if he has material belongings before I came along. I would not expect him to leave me for example a house that he bought before we got married, that is just not fair. I would, however, expect him to help me if I stay home or I have to work and postpone my college education so he can go to college and make a future for himself. It depends, every situation is different.

Ralsgal said...

I have to agree with dr123. This does need to be done on a case by case basis. Personally I could be very one sided on this argument because my husband left me after 13 years of marriage. I was a home keeper, but did have my education degree. I could've asked for alimony, but didnt. I only wanted what was best for my kids, child support, medical insurance and life Insurance given to my children. You can look at life with two different pair of glasses, greed and self pity, or maturity and responsibility. I do believe that wives/husbands that have no education or experience should receive monetary compensation from the primary bread winner for a limited time, so they can have a chance to get their feet on the ground. I do not believe in alimony for a life time. As much as I would love to have revenge on my ex for cheating on me and leaving his family, his responsibility lies with his children. That was my main concern. I did get some satisfaction, being married for 13 years in the millitary, I was entitled to 30 percent of his retirement. Since I did dedicate 13 years of my life to taking care of him and my family, that is part of a retirement that I do feel entitled to being at the age of 39 and starting a career my retirement will be much less. When you are the one hurt, it is hard to not look at the situation through your revenge glasses, I know from personal experience, but he just wasnt worth it. I want my children to see who is the bigger person, and they know.

Sickabyss said...

Depends on the situation i say. If the husband or wife makes more money than the other spouse for reasons like taking care of the house or children then a little compensation would be good. In another situation there could be a person that was using the spouse for personal gain and compensation to them shouldn't happen. The reasons are too numerous to count. If it came down to it I'd have to say "It depends on the situation." Yes, this is a hard thing to decide on but sometimes its unavoidable.

Athena Smith said...

Ralsgal
Quite an attitude!

TheSoulEater
Interesting comparison to welfare fraud

NotOfThisWorld and
BearsAreNaturesLions
Good sound thoughts on marriage. I hope the concept catches on!

trinity said...

Well, I approach this blog from a very different life perspective than most. The question is not "Would you..." but "Have I..." I have been twice divorced. Twice my spouse was the primary wage earner, while I was home with small children. Twice my attorney advised me of my rights to alimony. Twice I said no. If I no longer wish to share my life with this person and/or them with me, why should there be an obligation for financial support. For me it was a matter of pride. That being said, I also believe that some cases may have merit and do not wish to judge others with a "one size fits all" principle. I knew a woman who became debilitated with MS. Her husband left her, stating that he wanted to live his life and not be a nurse maid. He had a very successful multi-million dollar business. He chose to support her financially for the rest of her life, without the courts intervention. Sometimes, even if people do not find in within themselves to remain together, they do find within themselves to do the right thing.

thor177 said...

In this day and age of litigation for just about any reason, there has to be some laws on the books to guide the courts in how to divy up marital assets after a divorce. My personal opinion is there should be some calculation of the salaries of the parties involved and put that amount against the amount of debt that has been incurred by the couple during their marriage. People always seem to think only of how much each party makes, never giving thought to how much debt there is in the marriage. It is easy to say a person should live up to the quality of life that the couple had, but if that quality of life was purchased with credit and debt, that should be taken into consideration as well.

Cesc_03 said...

NO! I wouldn't demand alimony from my wife whether she is making more or less money than I am. But in most cases nowadays, there are alot of things that need consideration. For example, people are taking marriage lightly should never receive Alimony, like people who just marry someone and already wants to divorce after six months because the marriage didn't work out. I think, Aligomny should only be apply to couples who were marriage for certain amount of years, like at least 3 or 4, less than that, they're just being immature. They didn't take marraige seriously!United States desperately need this alimony doctrine because of those people who take marriage lightly.

And also lIke what most people said, its totally depends on the case whether he or she has the rights to receieve alimony. Things are getting tougher out there, if someone wants to survive he/she should work hard.

and about the video, I think the guy doesn't really want to get his kidney back, he just want justice for himself and his kids because of what his ex-wife have done to him. THink about it, you donated your kidney to someone, and that someone will just stab you at the back after. I feel sorry for him!

ianschmidt said...

When the salaries of men and women are equal so should the redistribution of wealth in the courts. I understand the need for child support. Children cannot support themselves and the money the court awards the remaining halves is designed to go to them. I do not understand adult support. Divorce is hard emotionally and financially. If you have no independence to secure your own financial future solely or as a couple it is a fault of your own. Also that surgeon seems awfully petty. I think the judge should have thrown the case out by now. Trying to put a price on human life?

medina said...

In my personal opinion I would not demand alimony, because I don’t like to depend on others, and I’ll make sure to have a successful career before I decided to get marry.
I don’t agree with alimony, but at the same time I do understand why some people demand it, especially stay home moms and dads. If they are the ones that are taking care of the kids and the house, they should be entitle to it. I also believe that most of the people abuse alimony, so in other words I think It really depends on the situation of the case.

iPanda said...

I'll have to agree with several of the posters on having this go on a case-by-case basis.

If I was making some kind of income, I wouldn't mind not having alimony. Seeing how it stresses out and effects my dad wouldn't make me want to do the same to someone I felt at some point in time I had 'loved'; depending on the circumstances I might not even want to have anything to do with them, their money included in this decision.
There are plenty of low-wage housing areas, and programs that make it easier to get food on your table.

And like TheSoulEater said, if I were a stay-at-home parent that raised children and took care of the house... It would be exponentially easier if I was provided with some sort of income while I attempted to find means to support myself.

Then you have those cases where the partner was stay-at-home, but didn't lift a finger for anything. I don't believe they should get any kind of marital compensation >:(.

I also thought it was amusing when I read that the complaints were greater when women had to pay alimony. You just have all of these women wanting equal rights, equal wages; they're demanding equality, equality, equality- but when they are handled just like the men are, it's unfair.

Athena Smith said...

Trinity, Median, Cesc3 and all the others who touched upon the concept of pride.I am glad you did.
Even economists applaud it. They consider it a vital part of the social capital.

Athena Smith said...

Ianschmidt
Individual responsibility and self reliance. That is another dimension worth considering.

*(Stefany)* said...

I agree that it should be a case-by-case deal as well. It varies depending on each case. I believe if both you and your spouse decide to get a divorce and you do not have any kids and are in perfectly good health, than that means you want to go your own way. Therefore, you should not need any kind of support from your ex. Of course, it is a different case if you have kids with your ex, but in that case, you would demand child support so I guess that is different. Anyways, if you have a divorce and you and your partner have worked together for what you have and you are not in good health, than of course you deserve half of what you own. The best thing is to have a case-by-case deal.

Court said...

This is definitely not black and white. In my opinion, the only circumstance where life-time alimony should be paid is when a mother/father sacrificed their dreams of going to college and scoring big careers to raise a family. Although the person making this sacrifice has traditionally been the mother, stay-at-home dads are becoming more and more common in today's society. If the couple has no children, life-time alimony should not even be an option because there was nothing preventing the person from pursuing a career. If there are no children involved, only temporary alimony should be granted so the person can have time to get back on their feet and find income.

rvrview3 said...

i think there should be some possible way that he should get his organ back. obviously he did that generous favor for a reason not just for fun. im pretty sure if she was a stranger or was a person he was sure not to spend the rest of his life with he would have not gave up the organ. something needs to be done women are so stubborn just give the man back his stuff let her get her stuff and split ways. she probably wants to act like shes sick and get some elses organs. hey if she does this much longer all her organs will get replaced she might even live a lot longer than those guys shes taking from. hey look at it this way her motto must be the more you take the more you live. lol

JrSwiFEY said...

Honestly i do believe it depends on the living arrangements because some women are with men who do not want them to work so if their marriage fails for whatever reason i strongly believe that they should split everything down the middle because it was the man's choice to not let the wife work. On the other hand, if there is a couple who both work i feel its their decision on how they should manage thier money either they want joint accounts or seperate. I personally plan on being a nurse and i am in a relationship and engaged but when we are officially married i do not want to have joint accounts simply because I know that the person that I plan on marrying, will not be bringing in as much as I will so if our money was combined it would be mostly my money being spent.

iLOVEpink said...

I am not a selfish person, but I guess it would depend on the reason for the divorce. I guess if he cheated on me of course I would demand alimony, but if we split just because we grew apart I am not sure if I would ask for it. I know that If I were the prime wage earner of my family and my husband and I divorced, I would probably provide alimony, if we left on good circumstances.
I am all for alimony, if the other cannot provide for themselves after the split than it is great until they can become stable and get back on there feet.

nmartinez1514 said...

i would personally not demand anything. These days education and opportunities are abundant and if someone were to divorce another person (no matter the cirumstance) then both parties have an equal chance of getting by on there own. I also believe that many people can take advantage of this such as getting married to much older or richer people and demanding a divorce, an extreme case of course but trying to prove my point. When two parties are married they share everything, but before they are married they must have gotten by somehow and its not a stretch to go back to that

Krishna Go Bucs said...

When you share so much of your life with someone with your husband or you wife, you basically become one with that person. You share everything with that person. Regardless if he is making money and the she is at home taking care of the house or the kids both have the equal amount of work into their relationship and family. If they got divorced, if it is his fault or her fault the should split up and keep moving on with their own lives. Now a day this kinds of situation are getting really worse, most people who get divorce because they have different things going on in their mind.

Lester said...

I think this should NOT be handled case-by-case. Like we've said in class before, "you give an inch, they'll take a foot." The whole idea of alimony is ridiculous. To me it seems like these days people need to take more responsibility for themselves and how are they supposed to do that if there is always going to be a crutch for them to lean on. We have been blessed with the ability to make choices for ourselves and there are plenty of resources out there for people who seriously need help in their life. The celebrities who demand millions of dollars a year to sustain their "way of living" makes me nauseous, especially when I work very hard for my money. I agree that it really comes down to having pride in yourself and having the ability to work hard and make your own life successful.

Lester said...

I think this should NOT be handled case-by-case. Like we've said in class before, "you give an inch, they'll take a foot." The whole idea of alimony is ridiculous. To me it seems like these days people need to take more responsibility for themselves and how are they supposed to do that if there is always going to be a crutch for them to lean on. We have been blessed with the ability to make choices for ourselves and there are plenty of resources out there for people who seriously need help in their life. The celebrities who demand millions of dollars a year to sustain their "way of living" makes me nauseous, especially when I work very hard for my money. I agree that it really comes down to having pride in yourself and having the ability to work hard and make your own life successful.

Edwin Kim said...

It’s all depends on the situation. If I’m making more money than my ex, I’m not looking for any alimony. If she’s making more money than I am, again, I’m not looking for any alimony. But if she had to stay home to watch the kids and now she can’t support herself? Then alimony is the right thing. It all depends on cases. But if the cause of divorce is because one cheated, then there shouldn’t be any alimony. I believe if you are old enough to get married, you have to be responsible for own action. Personally, this is all I can say. I’m a single man with no experience of marriage. I’m sure people who are married or have experience of this kind can answer this better than I can.

Athena Smith said...

Lester
Speaking of celebrities,read Hulk Hogan's Wife Broke Despite $40,000 Monthly Alimony Payments

Shane Lawrence said...

Well I would first state that this question would definitely be viewed, and also answered, differently depending if you were single, married, or in a similar committed relationship. That being said I am neither married nor engaged. I believe that no individual can lay claim to that which they themselves have not earned. Alimony in my opinion is bullshit. However, each deserve and are therefore entitled to that what they have worked and obtained for themselves. If you put something into the structure or foundation of your relationship, you deserve to take it back. However, you are only entitled to the exact percentage of that which was contributed on your behalf, and not a cent more. Rehabilitative and lifelong alimony are a complete act of theft or armed burglary backed by the blessing of an ignorant Judge. You make a commitment to live with an individual for better or for worse. Once you forsake this commitment that bonded you to an individual you lose any and all entitlements that were yours during your matrimony. You are from this point on, reliant solely upon your own self, as you so chose when terminating your marriage. Serial husbands and wives that have wed solely for personal gain have desecrated the holy act of marriage and made it into a joke. When you make a commitment such as this you stick with it. Maybe, if alimony was restructured, it would reduce the rate of divorce. Be smart about it and everyone arrange a prenuptial agreement. I know I sure as hell will!

BearsAreNaturesLions said...

I'm with Lester.

Dr. Smith: I've never been a Hulk Hogan fan, but I heard about this, and it broke my heart. The guy is broken down physically, he can't wrestle anymore, figured what he earned was good to last him and his family the rest of their lives.

She leaves him for a 20something boytoy and gets alimony, while he's trying to reconcile things, states he'd even take her back now.

This world is a cold, cold place sometimes...

delshown23 said...

If my wife supported us financially, then i would let her keep the money. Especially if she donated me a kidney thats only fair that she keeps the money. When I get married I would want to keep the majority of my money with me personally. You can't predict when your wife/husband may wake up and want a divorce due to problems in the marriage. So with that being said who wants to go broke after a divorce while your ex florish with your money and kidney. Plus your children. In this case sharing isn't caring.

Athena Smith said...

I see that the link I gave does not work. So here it is again

krisie2kyute said...

I do believe if a person in MARITAL relationship gets divorced or seperated the one making most of the income should continue the financial support.

The only time I don't think it should go that way is if the spouse making the least amount of money is an adulterer.

With that said, marriage is a binding contract. Mariage is probably the hardest relationship there is between human beings. Divorce was not meant to be and personally, I don't believe divorce should ever be an option. But because some people decide to get divorced, there should be reprocutions. I don't think a married couples should get prenups because it leaves the space for divorce as an option, which I earlier stated shouldn't be.

Now, if there is reason for divorce and it was not due to adultary or abuse, I don't see why it would be a problem for primary wages earner should should not subsidize the spouse making the least amount of money. That is why people in a relationship should get to know eachother and understand where each party is coming from and understand what they will be getting into when they marry; it all takes time. Think about it; they are the people who are supposed to be spending the rest of their lives with.

Maybe it is easier said than done, but hey! That's life; you live and you learn. You learn from making mistakes; and when it's a marriage, unfortunatley, the consequences must be suffered. So no Prenup for me and my husband, we plan to be together till death do us part.

Honey said...

If I were married, and subsequently got divorced, I would not request alimony. I too believe that alimony should be granted on a case by case basis. For instance, a person who has never worked, taken care of children (without hired help), should not be entitled to alimony. If a person has earned income, and or sacrificed their income or education to take care of children, that person should be entitled to alimony. The problem with alimony is that once the alimony is granted it is very difficult to have the amount reduced, in the event that the person who is responsible for paying alimony has a change in income or circumstances. As well, many people now days seek out wealthy spouses just for their money.

oni said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Britt said...

It never ceases to astonish me the outlandish things that people are willing to do for the love of money or the hate of an ex. If people put half as much energy, determination and ingenuity into keeping their marriage together as they do into getting all the money and material possessions they can this wouldn’t even be an issue in our society. Perhaps I am a bit of an idealist, so for the sake of discussion here’s my take. If the spouse was the primary wage earner they should help the other maintain an acceptable standard of living. However, it should not be an excuse for the one receiving alimony to not purse employment or spend money on frivolous items. It should be a temporary arrangement instead of a permanent form of income. Otherwise it’s just perpetuating dysfunction. A broken relationship leads to a broken financial situation which teaches people around them that a divorce settlement is all they need in life.

ijoz said...

If my spouse was the primary wage owner in the relationship and we got divorced, yes. I would definitly demand for an alimony. The only thing is that I would ask for a rehabilitative alimony until I can get a more stable job and place to stay. Now more then ever before Americans are having a harder time to find money, and if your spouse, who is the prime wage earner in the relationship, leaves you that makes thing twice as hard.

Even though an alimony is set in play to help the less fourtunate individual there are many who use it as a ticket to do nothing. These are known as the lifetime alimonies and theyhave led many spouses to simply freeloading on the money that they have not earned. In my oppinion alimony cases need to be handled with more care, so that the system works better for both parties. Also the government should closely moniter theses cases of lifetime alimony so that people will not be scammed of their rightfully earned money.

Brit =] said...

I personally don't agree with alimony. I feel it gets abused alot awell. Although like many people have said I do think it depends on the situation for example if the husband/wife was a stay at home mom or dad taking care of the children, how long the two were married, etc. On the other hand if one chooses to be a stay at home mom or dad thats ones own CHOICE, so if later down the road you two split up and now your finances is at risk that was your choice in the beginning now its your responsibility to stop being lazy and go and better your own future not try to make a living off someone elses income! Although ive never been married this is one thing I think about is that I want to be successful upon myself and not rely on someone elses income because what if something major was to happen, then what would I do. Therefore everyone should have a back up. Even if you get married and deside to be a stay at home mom have a backup plan. If both adults work and only one makes more money its foolish to demand alimony, its not your money! UGH! Any ways I completly disagree with it, mainly because i'm not all for living off someone elses successes and and not being able to make my own living. Everyone is capable of getting a job and making an income.

graphics4me said...

If I had a job that provided sufficient means of income to pay the bills then I would not ask for alimony. Though I would have to make some sacrifices by either moving into a smaller house or into an apartment. In my opinion a divorce is not final until there is a total separation between you and your spouse. The one exception to this though is if there are children involved in the divorce. With children involved then the primary wage earner should pay an alimony to the spouse not to help them have a better lifestyle but so that the children can have a better lifestyle.

lynk26 said...

Another one for the case by case basis here. It's kind of a mixed opinion for me, just because the whole idea of marriage isn't what it used to be. It's not taken seriously by many people nowadays, and it's like an item now, where once you are done or tired of it, you just toss it to the side and get a new one. I guess it depends on who is initiating the divorce, and for what reasons. Alimony is like child support, they're both kind of touchy subjects.

katusha said...

I believe the percentage of stay at home moms is very low compared to say twenty years ago. Most women strive for an education and a reputable career. If a stay at home mom did end up getting divorced I feel like she should get a chunk of money alloted to her so she can get back on her feet and that's it. If the person gave up going to school to help the other succeed, then case by case maybe they could get money payments to pay for education. Laws should be reviewed and revised every so many years so they keep up with the times. I think alimony is outdated and everyone really should sign a prenup with divorce rates as high as they are these days.

rkole4 said...

The question asks that if I were to split up with my wife (or, in my case, my future wife), would I demand alimony?
My answer is no. If I were in that deep of a relationship, I would not believe that she should have to pay me compensation after breaking up. If everything is earned by both of us, then everything should be divided equally between the two of us.
If one of us was working, and she was able to get a job, or if I was able to get a job after the break up, I believe the alimony should be very small, if any.
Now, just to state, that if I was in a marriage, I would give my 100% to making the marriage work. I personally do not believe in divorce (except for extreme reasons, like abuse and affairs).

1855:ΣΧ:1979 said...

If I had just broke up with my wife and she was the breadwinner, I don’t think I could swallow my pride enough to be able to accept money from her. I am not a fan of handouts, and will not take them. I have heard of alimony, the thought is pretty nice, because of extreme cases. Such as if you have a very rich family but on spouse are a doctor and the other is stay at home type. Then I think that this is appropriate, because the stay at home spouse hasn’t worked in years and probably doesn’t have an education because of the nature of the relationship. This way both parties can have an equal chance for a decent life still.

Star said...

Well in today's society Alimony is very important. I beleive that if a person is successful and has lots of money then they should be smart enough to have a prenup. If they didn't have a prenup in action then there are consequences. But in regards to alimony I beleive that when a woman and a man come together in agreement to be togther forever and for whatever reason divorce takes place then, exactly how they are living they should both live seperately but have all the same things such as a great home and a good car and be able to live comfortably. The person that pays the alimony is the one with the money so that is a rip off. Its not fair they have to pay extra money. I beleive if the person who earns less money and is unable to get a home, a car or pay for bills till they get back in the real world and earn their money, then at that point the person who erans the most at the divorce they should make sure they have everyting they need and that should seal the deal.

akm said...

It really depends on the situation. If i had been married for over ten years and was a true home maker than yes i would expect alimony becuase the complete income would be taken. If children were involed yes alimony is a must if the wife was a stay at home mom. Now if i had a stable job and my husband would just up and leave their should be some alimony, i think they called it rehabiltation alimony for like six months to het back on your feet. But like i sais earlier is that it really depends on what has happened to get a divorce.I also think the guy who is trying to get money for willing giving his kidney to his ex wife for surgery is ridiculous becuase thats is something he did willingly!!

DenverBroncos8 said...

I would have to agree with what dr123 said. An alimony case should be handled case by case. If you are in a relationship, and you have kids one of the parents will more than likely need to stay home to raise them. They also more than likely will not have a career at this point and time because of the time spent with the kids. In a case like this if they dont have a career or any money than the spouse that does have the job should support (in the case of a divorce) the other until they too can get out and get a decent paying job. There will be other cases however that both partners will be making decent money, one could be making significantly more than the other, therefore making the other jealous and wanting to take their money even though they themselves are doing fine financially.

flyfromtheinside said...

i think it depends on how long you've been together. if you've only been together in a marrige for a couple of years and get a divorce i dont think there should be a demand for an alimony. only being together for a few years isnt enough time to build a strong marige to be considered as "one". oh the other hand..if the marige is like 10 or 20 years and both partners have shared everything through out there relationship then i think everything should be split. both sides put an effort into the marige for many years so its only fair that each gets half.

China said...

If I was married and my husband and I lived a certain standard, I feel that who ever brought the most funds into the place of living should pay alimony to the other person. The reason I say this is because some where doing the time that he /she was in the process of becoming this money making person, the other party was doing something to assist in some way. Such as paying all the bills and keeping the kids in order until the other person finish college. Helping with gathering information to get the business started... So we have to look at the situation all around the board, someone where he/she played a role and deserved something. Now if the party doesn’t play a role in anyway with getting this living standard started, then no alimony is not due to the other party.

wolfgram25 said...

This article is very debatable, it could go both ways. I would have to say it would have to be handled case by case. Lets just say in a family the husband is making all the money and the wife is a stay at home mom. Well if they divorce the wife should be compensated because of the fact she does not work. It should also work in the opposite manner, if the wife makes all the money and the dad is a stay at home father. Then he should be compensated of they divorce. But, if they both have jobs that are stable and that can support them then I think that no one should be compensated. I think that would be fair because both of them are well off and can support themselves.

bleeding_heart_liberal said...

If a person forgoes an education and/or career to care for their children, spouse, and home, then that is their job. By paying alimony, the spouse is essentially paying the equivalent to unemployment. Being a stay at home parent has to be one of the hardest jobs out there, and that person is sacrificing valuable time that could have been spent pursuing an education and/or building a career by trusting that their spouse will provide financially. That being said, I do believe that a time limit should be applied, such as the total length of the marriage. However, if the spouse pursuing alimony does have gainful employment and a decent education, then I do not think they should have access to the other’s wealth. I believe that this is how it is currently calculated, as I did not qualify for alimony because of my young age although I was a stay at home mom. I left my career and my schooling to stay home and raise our child. My husband built a career and committed adultery. I was left with a high school education and very little job skills. In hindsight, yes, I should have gotten my degree prior to having a child, but she was an unexpected “miracle” which I will never regret. I believe that he should have been required to pay me alimony for a reasonable amount of time; however our legal system didn’t see it that way. Regardless, he did the honorable thing and helped me get on my feet. In return, when he remarried and had additional children, I promised to not request additional child support as his salary increased. We are both close now and have a respectful relationship.

DaLi said...

Alimony, to pay or not to pay, that is the question. On this subject I have a “double-standard” train of thought. I am able to see both sides of the fence on the topic of alimony, and my opinion varies on individual situations. There are many factors that go into forming my opinion on alimony, like was there an extra-marital affair, or did one person sacrifice their career for the other partner’s career, and does the receiver have a true need for alimony.

If the person leaving the marriage has broken their marital vows and destroyed the home and the life of a faithful loving partner, then yes I feel that he or she should pay alimony. And maybe at some point they will call it restitution rather than alimony. However; if the primary bread winner is the faithful one in the marriage, then they should not have to pay alimony, which would be like pouring salt on a wound.

Second, begs the question: did one partner sacrifice their career to put the other one through college? Maybe the primary bread winner is only the primary bread winner because their spouse was their support through college. A lot of couples who get married young can only afford for one person to go to school, while the other works, takes care of the house, and takes care of any children they have had. After many years of this lifestyle, the other spouse isn’t as marketable in the work place and has no fair chance at making a wage equal to that of the bread winner.

If both partners are equally successful and there is simply a breakdown of the relationship beyond repair, then no. I do not feel alimony is needed in a case where both partners are equally successful in their careers.

So to sum it up, yes there are cases when one should have to pay alimony, and there are cases when alimony is unjustified. But I don’t think general cookie-cutter laws should determine the fate of alimony. I feel each case deserves what is fair.

IndianGoddess6922 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
IndianGoddess6922 said...

I do not believe that alimony should be implemented in our society, with a few exceptions in regards to health and financial status. When a relationship is broken, the bond between those people is cut, and everything that was once shared; living arrangements, money and everyday expenses should be split one time as the individuals move on and live their own lives.

If the primary provider is not the one to break the relationship, but still chooses to provide some assistance to his/her ex, then that is an act of their unbreakable and undying love for that individual. If the primary provider does break the relationship then that person should be able to have the free will to refuse to help his/her ex maintain the same living standards. It is quite unfair that an individual should be forced to take the responsibility of providing for their ex, especially when the ex was the one to break the relationship. For instance, when two people mutually decide that one person is going to discontinue their education to become the secondary provider for the relationship and the relationship is broken, the secondary provider should now take the responsibility to continue their education. I think society needs to realize that two individuals have made a mutual agreement that one person would be the primary provider and that the other would take care of the other needs of life for both people, the primary provider should not be forcibly held responsible.

There are quite a few instances in which the option of alimony should be permissible. One example would be the situation in which an individual unable to work and provide for themselves because of health reasons has married someone that has promised to take care of them, in sickness and in health, for better for worse, and the marriage, regardless of the length is terminated. The primary provider should be legally held responsible for taking care of their ex, just because that individual is not healthy enough to work. If the financial situation of the ex is at such a low point that it would place that person at the level of poverty, then the primary provider should be held responsible.

The epitome of my view on the doctrine of alimony in today’s society is that alimony should not be forcibly implemented upon any individual, with the two exceptions of health and finances. When a relationship is broken, the backbone of the relationship; love, is no longer shared, and the material things that were also a part of the relationship should be equally divided at one time. Both individuals should be legally unbound and are only responsible for their ex if they choose to be.

mdns7 said...

It depends on the situation of the person making less the the prime wage earner. If i was on solid ground wth a well paying career putting me above the poverty line i probably wouldnt demand a steep alimony. On the other hand i can understand some people "needing" that money becuase they've sacrificed an education and career for this person. It really depends on the circumstances of the 2 people in the marriage, i can't easily give a specific answer to that general of a question =X

Sandy6 said...

I can’t imagine taking any kind of money from an ex-husband that I want nothing to do with, even if it’s called alimony. Because if we are getting a divorce that means (to me at least), that I want to cut off every association I have with him. And I especially do not want to be reminded that he has to pay me every month some amount of money. I would feel like an idiot, because why do I need his money when I can just make my own. Now if we had a small business together and he did almost none of the work, then I’d be demanding money. I’d never be with someone like that, but if my judgment is altered and I’m with someone like that then I have no one to blame for my problems but myself for getting me in this mess.

Athena Smith said...

There is an Alliance For Freedom From Alimony, (that originated in Florida) and tries to reform or rather abolish the lifetime alimony laws in the US. They have created local chapters throughout the country that assist people who claim to have been unfairly treated by the law. The Alliance believes that they have a good case against the statues governing the granting of alimony on the premise that they violate the Right of Privacy in marriage matters and the Separation of Powers that arise from the judges having excessive discretion to grant alimony. The Alliance believes that there are no guidelines for equitable rulings and accordingly the judges create the law from the bench. Law-making belongs to the legislature and not the judiciary. To promote their agenda they have uploaded these videos

Quagmire813 said...

This is such a touchy subject. I am married and my wife is the primary "bread" winner in our family. If things were to end in our marriage I would not be able to bring myself to ask my wife for money. As a boy I was always taught if you want it we have to earn it and not depend on other people. Even though I have sacrificed my education so she could acheive her dreams it was my choice. We worked as a team to get to where we are but once the team is broken up we have to go our seperate ways. Have any of you heard of the case in Ohio where a man was paying alimony to his wife, she got a sex change and the courts decided that this guy had to pay the other "guy" the alimony even though that she was now seen as a man by the courts. Thought I would throw that out there.

Athena Smith said...

Quagmire813
I believe it was in Clearwater

Qasem said...

I would not expect alimony from my spouse. When a person has a divorce, thats means the relationship did not work out. Expecting gain from your spouse because of a divorce is the wrong way to go through the divorce. It would not put a end to the relationship in order to start a new life. It would not be worth not putting end to the realationship and starting your new life. It would also cause more problems for you and your ex which would never let you forget about the past. So ending the relationship totally would be more relaxing and less stressful.

ghandi G said...

I would definitely not expect alimony from my spouse if we were ever to get a divorce. If me and my spouse got a divorce it would probably be because we were not getting along with each other or there were some trust issues. I would not expect alimony from my spouse because i got divorced to separate from her not to take her money. Receiving alimony would be such a cheap thing to do if you ever get divorced. you make a commitment when you get married and you always stick to it no matter what and receiving alimony would be breaking that commitment in my opinion and the guy in the article is breaking a commitment he made in his marriage by asking for alimony.

lubna said...

I believe it really depends on a case or situation. For instance, if a husband divorced his wife and the children are young so in this type of situation, she should file the alimony and the child support.If the children are grown or the couple have no children then she should not be ask for alimony. I have been married for 12 years, and I am happily married with my husband. Honestly,we have never thought of this situation before I have two kids, ten and seven years old. We share everything including saving and checking accounts. If I would ever have a situation like this I would never file for alimony. I believe Marriage is a very precious commentmet and trust between husband and wife. If a couple would not have respect, trust, commentment for each other then money has no value. How long the money will last with any body? If a man capable for work he should not ask for money either from his wife.

Grenadian_girl said...

I would not want alimony from my husband if we got divorce. If we did get a divorce, why would I want a constant reminder of a failed marriage/relationship. Plus I'm the type of person who doesn't want anything handed to me because you were ordered to do it. If you want to help me out do it on you own will not because you have to or you get in trouble.

Plus if a person goes into a relationship with the prospect of them maybe receiving alimony in the event things don't work out; that relationship is already doomed from the start.

Grenadian_girl said...

In regards to everyone who is saying that's it's a case by case basis, should think about this.

When you go into a relationship and you are honest with each from the beginning. Open about everything from past relationships to current and future issues; then the thought of alimony shouldn't even enter the mind.

I think that once an idea like that enters the mind, it begins to plant a seed of doubt-which in turn begins to grow and can lead to trouble.

Go into a relationship/marriage with a clean slate, be honest and don't think what if's; instead, say in your head (or out loud) that you will cross that bridge when you get there.

Dani G said...

I also agree with dr123. If I was to get divorced, there is absolutely no way I would want them to support me at all. Once the divorce is final, they don't owe me, everything should be split down the middle. He has his own income, I have my own income and that should be the end of it. What's done is done. It's pathetic the extremes some people will go to.

skywritter54 said...

In this new improved equality type of society , the issue of alimony and palimony really seems to be generating a lot of controversy.

There was a time that it was expected that alimony would be paid to a spouse after a marriage of long standing was terminated (but only if that spouse was female.)

Nowadays, things have changed. Now women work and even make more money that their husbands. It’s still uncommon, but we are seeing more stay-at-home spouses that are male. Therefore, due to our new society ‘s every changing roles, it’s now sometimes necessary to give the male spouse the same rights as the female spouse(that is if the conditions and circumstances are identical for both sexes.)

What I am saying is I believe palimony should be given under the same circumstances and conditions as when alimony is given (regardless of the gender.) This is a decision that needs to be made on a case by case basis. I am not quite sure what requirements alimony is given. But I personally would not want any alimony from my ex if I am in good health, able to work and have had no extraordinary issues that preceded the need or desire for divorce.

But if I had to give up my career or dreams in order to boost my husband’s career and business, then when we divorced, I would expect to be compensated for the time and sacrificed. Patrimony and alimony would be decided according to who had sacrificed the most. Either everything would be divided equally OR alimony/palimony would certainly be part of the deal.

And I am in total agreement with the post made by Shannanigans: ‘alimony or palimony Should Not be given just to even out the income.’

BethK0119 said...

Reading the actual question as: “Would I demand alimony from my ex if he were the prime wage earner?” My answer to this is, first I will never be in that situation and second Absolutely Not.

Here is a little background on my answer. I watched my father physically and mentally abuse both my mother and brothers from the time I could remember until I was twelve years old. She could not leave. She had no education and no job and seven children who she could not leave with him. She finally, after an irreversible amount of damage was done, left anyway.

With that being stated, I will never, ever put myself into the situation that would put me into the position of relying financially on my husband. I will ALWAYS be able to support myself and as I have children, I will continue to monitor my ability to support them. There are ways to maintain your independence in a relationship and I am determined to make sure these things are in place when I start a relationship and as I continue on my journey through said relationship. As or if I have children, I owe this to them.

I plan on marrying for life (if God graces me with the opportunity) and like other respondents to this blog do not take marriage lightly, but if things were to not work out I will be able to take care of myself and will not accept any sort of financial support from an ex. I feel all ties, including financial, should be broken.

Master Mo said...

I agree with drl123 it should be handled on case by case basis. If i was getting a divorce, I would expect nothing. If I'm a very successful person, and my marriage don't work out. I would want to split it 50/50 and me and her go our seperate ways. However, I know alot of people who sacrificed there careers and education to support there families. I think alimony is stupid because make so much money and don't know what do with it.

TeXasLuV said...

This sort of thing should be handled by the deggre of the situition. If one is in a marriage and has kids and has sacrificed a lot of themselves so the other perosn can go out and make the money then i do think that they should be helped until the can get stable on there own especially since they have kids. But if there are no kids involved and but some other circumstances are invloved then it really dembends on the situation. I plan on being extremly sucessful on my own and need help from nobody so whats mine and i worked for and earned is mine.

Frenchie said...

I would not try to receive any alimony from anyone. I believe that if you should seperate with your significant other then you should just split things right down the middle and call it quits. I don't belive that alimony should still be used because it seems to me that most people just use that as an excuse to get extra money from their ex husbands/ wives. I don't see how wanting to keep the same way of life is a reason to force someone to pay money to their ex's.

lxndr.lns said...

To be honest I’m not entirely sure whether I would seek alimony payments after the marriage is over. In reality in a marriage one really does not need to take care of the other except for maybe a place to sleep so why would you need to provide any more than what is necessary. Yes, for the lower wage earner I believe some sort of compensation should be necessary because many times without it the other will suffer due to insufficient experience or even possibly a medical condition. What Batista did is somewhat understandable, but he hopefully will not get away with it. Even after the marriage is gone as two people who were in love you should care enough to see the other get back on their feet. Also I do not believe you need to promise to maintain a lifestyle for someone else so my final opinion would be no I would not demand alimony, but I would appreciate it for a short while

CoCo85 said...

I believe that what you work for should be yours. I dislike the idea of divorce should the significant other decide they want to bail, they take the easy road and file for divorce. I can’t come to terms that once you are in a relationship that the money you worked so hard far should be given to the other party should they decide the relationship no longer works. You now have to financial support them, for what?! They need to learn to live within their means. There are people out there only to get into relationship with people for their money. It just breaks my heart that money hungry people will do anything. People are no longer staying together because they are unhappy but for the financial support. I don’t believe this should be handled case by case. What you came into the relationship is what you take out of the relationship, no ties!

Millz617 said...

In my opinion...i think there shouldnt be such an issue. i would not want money from my ex just because we arent together anymore an theres a doctrine stating that if she is the primary income holder, that she has to pay me untill im financialy stable. i feel (as a man an or in a females case) it is our responsibility to take care of ourselve. it is our responsiblity to set ourselves up for a better tomorrow..not depend on what was our other(better) half to take care of us.. i would be highly upset if i had to pay my ex hundreds or even thousands of dollars because i made more money..and im sure females feel the same..

Athena Smith said...

Some of you have posted touching personal stories (like Bleeding Heart Liberal, Quagmire,BethK119 and others). Thank you for sharing your personal experiences with the rest of us.

Athena Smith said...

Millz617 and Xx Human Rights xX , Fireangel, helpishere,
Janekennedy, JD, katusha and Tori

Please email me your names.

bomana said...

Whether or not I would seek alimony would depend on a couple of things. First, what did I have to do with his success. If I've made sacrifices so that he could be successful for the both of us or if I have helped with the work, then I would expect to get my share.
Second, how pissed am I about the break up. depending on why the marriage ended, how it ended, if there was any abuse, I might want to take the guy to the cleaners. It would serve him right to have to pay. It seems to me that an effective way to strike out at people who have money is to take the money away.

solitaryxsiren said...

This should definitely be on a case by case basis. Perhaps reviewing each person's capabilities would help determine if alimony is necessary, as well as determine the amount and length of time it would be provided. Obviously if the person who would be receiving the alimony has means to get themselves on their own two feet, the alimony could be an amount and length of time found reasonable for them to get established on their own. However, if the person has obvious disadvantages that are beyond their control, the alimony may be more sympathetic.

The cause of the separation should also contribute. This is where it obviously gets dirty in some cases. If the person who would receive the alimony did something unworthy of assistance (such as having an affair) and this was the proven cause of the separation, the alimony should be compromised.

hnarine67 said...

I believe that when two people split up, everything should be split down the middle regardless of the situation. But there are always exceptions to that, because sometimes people are just greedy and just take advantage of the system so you have to becareful. Also, when two people come together in a marriage if they are that paranoid about their assets then maybe they should just get a prenup and finish the story. I don't see why people really need the money, are they not capable of being able to find jobs, and fend for themselves? Are they that hopeless? If they are handicapped, or really unable to survive on their own, then yes maybe they should get the money, but if they are perfectly capable of doing things on their own, then they should be making their own money, and not using their ex's--that's just stupid.

DLG2009 said...

I think that alimony is absurd. I feel that if a marriage does not work and it ends in divorce once you are separated that is it, you are separated. Each partner is no longer responsible for the other. I also feel that (if it were I in that situation) I would help my ex just because that is the right thing to do. They once had a life together and at one point did love each other, so what hurts helping them out now. If it involves children or no children. With my parents they are no longer together, they still help each other, and it does not involve alimony because they still care for each other as friends. They help each other even when it does not involve the children. They also pay each other back once they are back on their feet. Because it is the right, mature thing to do.

In the case of Dr. Richard Batista, he should not be suing for his kidney or money. He should be concentrating on getting his kids back. Batista stated that he donated his kidney because he cared and loved her. So what does that change now? Yes, she hurt him but that does not mean he has the right to take something back that he did in the past for her out of love. Especially, when it comes to her life. Batista needs to get his priorities in order and focus on the most important thing in his life right now…HIS CHILDREN.

rushfan said...

The pure thought of Alimony is ridiculous. Granted when you are married and together yeah you should share the wealth. However, once you break the contract of marriage you should no longer be obligated to support the other person. In the case of Dr Richard Batista I do not think he has his priorities straight. He seems to be focusing on getting payment for his kidney, which he donated out of love to save his wife’s life. Now that they are getting divorced because she was unfaithful, he wants to be compensated for his act of kindness. What he needs to focus on is getting his kids back. His wife has denied him access to his children. Which is wrong on her part, the law clearly states that there is no way to charge for organs when you donate an organ it is considered a gift there is no way to reimburse someone for their organ. Dr. Richard Batista needs to fight for his kids. However to get back to the question at hand I would not ask for alimony as Alimony just causes problems and makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

vicky said...

If I were a stay-at-home mom, I would ask for some sort of alimony. That way, I could get up on my own feet. I would get a job, or study before getting that job if necessary. Otherwise, I know that I am very much capable of maintaining myself. I am healthy, smart, and independent and I must be out of my mind to not be able to take care of my own self. Also, I must say that I agree with BearsAreNaturesLions. “Young ladies, your honor matters, don't sell yourself short by imitating the images you see and hear in the media. Be kind, be graceful. Embrace the strength you have as women but don't discard the beauty and power of your femininity.”
As for the guy wanting his kidney back, that was a gift. He did it to save the life of another, and if body parts are not for sale, then too bad so sad but he lucked out.

buckeyes06 said...

I believe that it 100% depends on the situation. If i was not the primary wage earner in the household when the marriage went sour then I would expect nothing more than what's mine. Everything that was jointly bought would be split evenly. However there are some circumstances where that isn't possible but I would take it in stride and handle the situation as mature and with as little drama as i could. So my answer to the question is no I wouldn't hold my spouse up to support me. Whatever she makes is rightfully hers and the other way around.

LostPhan3 said...

I don't know if alimony should be expected were I to get a divorce from my spouse. A divorce would be indicative of the fact that somewhere along the line, something went wrong and we did not get along anymore. I do not think that I would want to depend on someone who I was no longer involved with and I think that it would only serve as a constant reminder of something that did not work out in my life. It might be more difficult on me without that extra help, but I think it would help me grow as a person.

Athena Smith said...

buckeyes06
Please email me your name.

Kimberlee said...

I think alimony should be awarded and adjusted case by case. My mother was married @ 18, she was a typical house wife in the 60's and 70's. She was in charge of the running the house, raising me and my sister, while my father traveled in the Navy and went for schooling throughout his career. After 15 years,she had given him the freedom and support he needed to build his career and become extremely successful. At this point, he had a midlife crisis , started to stray and soon my parents were divorced. My mother had really no skills to support us or herself, she was given very little because he was able to hide a lot and soon she lost her home. She had to go to work in a department store , were she has been for over 2o years, she lives in a finished attic in her brother's house. My mom was 36 when she was divorced and had to conform to a new world, now @ 64 she stills works living paycheck to paycheck. By all means she well deserved alimony and should have been given some provisions to go to school so that she too could build a career and support herself. In big companies or factories that shut down with "lifers" they offer a similar provision. They offer people a chance to go to school and get training in order to be able to support themselves.

I built a business w/ my soon to be x-husband of 20years and he is seeking alimony from me. I have been in school, i have raised my children, run the house and run our business, while he did minimal to contribute. I had been mentally abused for a long period of time and forced to wear many hats.

Unfortunately all my energy and good will may cost me, i'm worried. He is purposely not working and hasn't done so in awhile in hope to receive alimony from me. This man is very talented and has many skills he could put to use. It's very unfair. He choose to abandon me and our 2 children, so I think in our case things should be split 50/50 and we should just go our separate ways.

I highly recommend Prenuptial !! If i were to marry again, i would do a pre nup, no if ands or buts about it. They should really make it a standard! It would have saved me the $20,000 and still going. I am sure that my soon to be x would rather split that then give it to the lawyers i would!

Nydia said...

I would not pursue alimony from my spouse. I would only expect him to take care of his responsibility (his children). I’m an independent woman and will only want things to be handled the right way. If he and I worked together to build our foundation then I will expect everything to be split in half. As a couple/team I believe we put our financials together to handle everything but once we are divorced what is his, he can keep. I believe in a situation where the woman is the homemaker then yes I think it’s only fair for the spouse to pay alimony until the she gets on her feet and vise versa.

Ms.Krissy said...

In today's society alimony has elevated to a whole other level. People seem to be going outrageous with the term alimony and in the end want everything back including body parts which i think is ridiculous! If you think you are going to be an "indian giver" do not give out what you may think you might want back. Like the article said time has changed to where women are the ones giving out the check in the end of a divorce. Many people might get it mistaken to think that women are always going to win and get the money every month but it doesn't always go like that. I will definitely have to agree with "dr123" and say that there are exceptions to any and everything. If you are divorcing a disabled spouse, the other spouse is of course going to in the end make that person pay the alimony.....which i think is the right way to do it. Some people don't look at both sides of the party and always think that the women are the victims which is not always the case. Marriage is a sacred thing and many people go into marriage with a mindset to get a divorce because the spouse they married has a lot of money. So regardless of religion purposes, and i mean no disrespect to anyone's religion at all, but if you might be having doubts about the marriage or situation, sign a prenup. Don't get me wrong I don't mean to enter into a marriage with the prenup but while in the marriage i do not think it is ever too late to get a prenup and have it signed just for security purposes. It is 2009, and people are very deceiving, they may look very nice but in the end can turn out to be the nastiest person ever! So to sum this whole paragraph up, I would just say be careful in anything you may do in life. As far the guy asking back for his kidney or vice versa, I don't think that should be granted at all but I'm sure some may totally differ with me......

omaya said...

Honestly I would nt demand alimony from my ex just because after a divorse I dont thhink I would want any sort of attachment with him. I would get my act and thoughts together and start a new life far away from him. But then again, I've heard of some cases where one of the spouses have given up their full payed scholarships and jobs just for the sake of saying at home and raising a family. In that case, I would think its only fair to get some sort of economical help from their ex, because one of you gave up more than the other for the sake of a happy long life tme marriage :)

anonsyg said...

Either way someone will get the short end of the stick. Someone will be having to pay too much to a undeserving ex spouse, or too little. In my opinion this type of situation should be based on a case by case basis with all the facts reviewed first, its too hard to blanket a issue like this under one law. Coming from a divorced family i semi understand the issue here on a first hand basis, my mother was paid child support by my father, for over 3 of the years that this took place she didnt work at all. Like stated earlier, i feel the only way to do right on each part would be to look at each instant on a case by case basis.

Guido said...

I think that the money should be seperate. Say one person makes all the money and the other sits at home and doesn't contribute, they don't deserve a share of the money if the two decide to split

Get-Me-A-RedBull said...

Awarding alimony due to ones finical ability is discriminative at the least. Allowing individuals to ask for alimony just to make up for the change in ones lifestyle is a waste of our court system. If you have been an at home parent and have not worked due to your spouse’s career perhaps then you may ask for help. This would be contingent upon a spouse remarrying and their ability to return work. If you are able to leave the marriage and provide for yourself then you should do just that. This person did not take you on to raise and has every right to move on.

steven.majdecki said...

I would not demand any alimony at all from my ex wife. I believe that you should be able to keep what you earn when it comes to wages. Child Support I do believe in because you have to help support kids that can't take care of themselves yet, but you should not have to help support a grown person that is old enough and responsible enough to take care of herself. Prenup is a good thing I beleive, but if you have the question of getting one, then you would have to ask yourself if you really trust the person you are about to marry. I've been married and divorsed and thank god in my situation alimony didn't come into effect because we weren't married long enough. So t oconclude this I would say alimony is crap and people should just split up belongings evenly and figure out child support if it is needed.

*V@N3* said...

I think that alimony shouldn't be considered if both people are working because they can both support themselves and once a person is divorced it's best that they keep out of each others’ lives. On the other hand if one of the spouses is stay at home because of family then they should receive some type of financial support because they don’t have a way of supporting themselves after the divorce. For the kidney case I think he is being a little selfish I understand that he is hurt for being cheated on, but he should move forward and let things be. He earns a lot of money anyways so he should let it go.

nomad0526 said...

Although very different from child support, I believe that alimony is not a topic to simply brush over or ignore. The bond of marriage was originally instituted to be a covenanted commitment even though it is unfortunately many times broken in today’s society. I personally feel that the instatement of an alimony allowance should be enforced, but like many other highly controversial issues, alimony has and continues to be greatly abused. I personally feel that if you engage in a marriage commitment with someone it is and should be a written contract. However, I believe that the amount and type of alimony should be carefully considered by an honest and reliable outside legal source that can regulate and limit the amount and length of the spousal support that is to be given. If I were in this type of situation I would really only hope to get what is fair. I don’t think that it is fair for either partner to be left “high and dry” but I also greatly believe that you should not expect your ex-marriage partner to pay your salary for the rest of their life…

DaLaTiNaChIcKa89 said...

Getting divorced is a nasty thing to go through. There's always who gets the kids and what kid goes where (if you have kids), also who gets what and its just a terrible and messy process to go through.

If the woman was making most the money in the family and the husband has a decent job and can pay for bills then he shouldn't get any money at all. On the other hand if the man is making all the money and the mother is a stay at home mother then she should receive a reasonable amount in order to get a place so she can have time to find a job and get on her feet. If the couple both make the same amount of money they should just split everything down the middle and leave each other and walk the other way.

In this case, I believe this man is being ridiculous and selfish to want his kidney back or $1.5 million. If he didn't love his wife then he wouldn't have given it to her in the first place, there had to be a reason for why he did it. He shouldn't expect that back or even the money for it, he should just be happy for whatever he gets out of this divorce.

Jn2 said...

I will never ask alimony from my spouse no matter what circumstances.Take for example the guy who donated a kidney to the wife and asked for alimony after divorse.If i were in that situation,i would never have done that.Reason being i was doing it for the sake of love and to save a soul.When divorse life move on.Just need to forget about the past and focus on the future.I don't see reasons depending on my spouse for survival knowing well that i got the energy to make ends meet. In cases where we have a joined account and several properties,we just have to share everything even.I say alimony should be terminated.

Alex370000 said...

I have to agree and disagree. With most couples i have to say that they should split everything down the middle. If you married that person there is a reason you married him or her. There is a rare cases where you have money interfer where you have a rich man or women. In that case it should not be split down the middle. The man or women worked hard for that money so they shouldnt have to split it. But for the most part and average family everything should be split down the middle for everything.

junyor0169 said...

I must say that I do agree with dr123. Alimony should be dealt with on a case by case basis. Alimony is something that definitely shouldn’t be taken lightly. If both spouses are working there shouldn’t be a need for alimony. Even if one person doesn’t make as much as the other, it shouldn’t matter simply because they are no longer together. The person paying shouldn’t be held accountable for someone else’s living expenses if they are legally divorced or separated. Two adults should be able to live on their own especially if they were living alone before the marriage. Alimony is a joke, it just allows one person to reap the benefits of their hardworking ex-spouse.

kennyg said...

I believe that this situation should be a split case. I'm not married but I'am in a long term relationship and no we dont live together but when we do move in it wont be he pays all the bills and I dont because if we were to get a divorcethen yes everything would be given to him because I didnt do anything but thats not how its going to be. When we live together we both are going to pay the bills and we're going to split them. We're also going to split things as groceries and house expenses that way if we do get a divorce nobody gets more than the other if even one person is bringing in more miney than the other the person. I feel that this situation should be a split down the middle case nothing more, nothing less everything even.

Christie24 said...

I also believe that it should be based on each case. If one of the partners stayed home while taking care of the children while the other partner provided the income and then they get a divorce, I feel that the stay at home parent should be allowed alimony but only until they are able to provide for themselves and their children on their own or if they were to get remarried. The alimony would give them the opportunity to find a job or go back to school to get a degree if they were not able to beforehand. On the other hand, if both partners have good steady jobs and can provide for themselves either with children or not, I do not feel that either partner should receive alimony. I think people should not rely on other people to support them if they are fully capable of providing for themselves.

ETERNITY said...

Thankfully I havent ever been through situation such as this, however I have heard horror stories on how this has effected both parties. Definitely, in my opinion it sould be handled as a case by case basis. I dont see alimony as every supporting the others “lifestyle.” Personally if you choose to leave your spouse for whatever reason, you should accept in taking any form of responsibilty that is a result to you decision. When children are involved, and there isnt that option of splitting them or their expenses fairly down the middle, circumstances change. It is most definately a responsibilty for both parties. This can become an extremely complicated situation depending on the age of the children. When there isnt children I could see a temporary alimony for the spouse until they are a ble to get back on their feet; which could take a min of 2-3 yrs.
Can alimony be abused .. yes , yes ,yes . So it is impossible to determine a happy medium. It all boils down each case being handled seperately. It is very unfortante how money can serperate and destroy what is left in a marriage, then once again it returns to control them even though they are no longer together. Money can never bring happiness or for this case closure.

CON_to-the_WAY said...

I believe you work for everything you have. If you are in a relationship where you do your own part in supporting your partner, your money should be dispersed to you and no one else. Just because an ex starts a new life does not mean the previous spouse should continue supporting him/her in any way. This directly goes against the word "separate". Alimony is ridiculous and should not even exist. If you can function IN a relationship or a marriage, why not out of one? Do you all of a sudden lose the ability to work? No.

mpierre said...

I do not know what to do if I was in that situation. well I think if in a long relationship for a long time then I do not think a person should be asking for something you both had to go through together. If a person sacrificed their whole life for someone else than the other should be able to at least give them compensation and support if the where to get divorced. when I think about I do not think an alimony should be asked, Because you spend all that time together for love and supporting each other then later on one person gets everything.

MikeATLfalcons said...

i think that if u make the money u should keep it. if u were married to someone who didnt work or do anything and then you guys got a divorce then that person should not be aloud to just take half of what the one person has worked so hard for. they should have to support themselves and not rely on others to take care of them.

dalopez said...

I see that many people are agreeing to pay the alimony, but why? If I were to get a divorce and I was making money wouldn’t want the guy I was married to get my money, and I wouldn’t need his money either. If he has to pay for school or bills he can take out a loan, and I would do the same if I need the money. If I get a divorce, that’s it! I shouldn’t be responsible to make money then give him part of my paycheck when I’m going to have new bills to worry about in my life. Sucks for him if he doesn’t have a well paying job to get him paycheck to paycheck.

Sabrina said...

I think that each case has to be handled individually. It depends on the circumstances of each case. However if it is a case where both parties agreed that one party would be the sole breadwinner,while the other stayed at home, and for some reason the marriage failed. Then of course I would expect alimony.