tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post7955105984184901411..comments2023-10-26T08:37:12.232-04:00Comments on Heleni Smith: The doctrine of alimony in today's societyAthena Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11483906167304901085noreply@blogger.comBlogger136125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-48817096383752060462009-02-09T01:49:00.000-05:002009-02-09T01:49:00.000-05:00I think that each case has to be handled individua...I think that each case has to be handled individually. It depends on the circumstances of each case. However if it is a case where both parties agreed that one party would be the sole breadwinner,while the other stayed at home, and for some reason the marriage failed. Then of course I would expect alimony.Sabrinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16356946974681334263noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-76714941232536196232009-02-09T00:09:00.000-05:002009-02-09T00:09:00.000-05:00I see that many people are agreeing to pay the ali...I see that many people are agreeing to pay the alimony, but why? If I were to get a divorce and I was making money wouldn’t want the guy I was married to get my money, and I wouldn’t need his money either. If he has to pay for school or bills he can take out a loan, and I would do the same if I need the money. If I get a divorce, that’s it! I shouldn’t be responsible to make money then give him part of my paycheck when I’m going to have new bills to worry about in my life. Sucks for him if he doesn’t have a well paying job to get him paycheck to paycheck.dalopezhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15629564012036699921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-86488159686572129512009-02-08T23:59:00.000-05:002009-02-08T23:59:00.000-05:00i think that if u make the money u should keep it....i think that if u make the money u should keep it. if u were married to someone who didnt work or do anything and then you guys got a divorce then that person should not be aloud to just take half of what the one person has worked so hard for. they should have to support themselves and not rely on others to take care of them.MikeATLfalconshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16168410090837648087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-18014103019698562352009-02-08T23:19:00.000-05:002009-02-08T23:19:00.000-05:00I do not know what to do if I was in that situatio...I do not know what to do if I was in that situation. well I think if in a long relationship for a long time then I do not think a person should be asking for something you both had to go through together. If a person sacrificed their whole life for someone else than the other should be able to at least give them compensation and support if the where to get divorced. when I think about I do not think an alimony should be asked, Because you spend all that time together for love and supporting each other then later on one person gets everything.mpierrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05511003533924408493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-14979010750873490612009-02-08T22:50:00.000-05:002009-02-08T22:50:00.000-05:00I believe you work for everything you have. If you...I believe you work for everything you have. If you are in a relationship where you do your own part in supporting your partner, your money should be dispersed to you and no one else. Just because an ex starts a new life does not mean the previous spouse should continue supporting him/her in any way. This directly goes against the word "separate". Alimony is ridiculous and should not even exist. If you can function IN a relationship or a marriage, why not out of one? Do you all of a sudden lose the ability to work? No.CON_to-the_WAYhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11900398185133517874noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-85530285070019150602009-02-08T22:29:00.000-05:002009-02-08T22:29:00.000-05:00Thankfully I havent ever been through situation su...Thankfully I havent ever been through situation such as this, however I have heard horror stories on how this has effected both parties. Definitely, in my opinion it sould be handled as a case by case basis. I dont see alimony as every supporting the others “lifestyle.” Personally if you choose to leave your spouse for whatever reason, you should accept in taking any form of responsibilty that is a result to you decision. When children are involved, and there isnt that option of splitting them or their expenses fairly down the middle, circumstances change. It is most definately a responsibilty for both parties. This can become an extremely complicated situation depending on the age of the children. When there isnt children I could see a temporary alimony for the spouse until they are a ble to get back on their feet; which could take a min of 2-3 yrs. <BR/>Can alimony be abused .. yes , yes ,yes . So it is impossible to determine a happy medium. It all boils down each case being handled seperately. It is very unfortante how money can serperate and destroy what is left in a marriage, then once again it returns to control them even though they are no longer together. Money can never bring happiness or for this case closure.ETERNITYhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09673580870970768830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-81822774569850940722009-02-08T22:20:00.000-05:002009-02-08T22:20:00.000-05:00I also believe that it should be based on each cas...I also believe that it should be based on each case. If one of the partners stayed home while taking care of the children while the other partner provided the income and then they get a divorce, I feel that the stay at home parent should be allowed alimony but only until they are able to provide for themselves and their children on their own or if they were to get remarried. The alimony would give them the opportunity to find a job or go back to school to get a degree if they were not able to beforehand. On the other hand, if both partners have good steady jobs and can provide for themselves either with children or not, I do not feel that either partner should receive alimony. I think people should not rely on other people to support them if they are fully capable of providing for themselves.Christie24https://www.blogger.com/profile/09916881256777926044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-12789295052035008772009-02-08T22:08:00.000-05:002009-02-08T22:08:00.000-05:00I believe that this situation should be a split ca...I believe that this situation should be a split case. I'm not married but I'am in a long term relationship and no we dont live together but when we do move in it wont be he pays all the bills and I dont because if we were to get a divorcethen yes everything would be given to him because I didnt do anything but thats not how its going to be. When we live together we both are going to pay the bills and we're going to split them. We're also going to split things as groceries and house expenses that way if we do get a divorce nobody gets more than the other if even one person is bringing in more miney than the other the person. I feel that this situation should be a split down the middle case nothing more, nothing less everything even.kennyghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13126681962124353014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-65206483909447102312009-02-08T22:00:00.000-05:002009-02-08T22:00:00.000-05:00I must say that I do agree with dr123. Alimony sho...I must say that I do agree with dr123. Alimony should be dealt with on a case by case basis. Alimony is something that definitely shouldn’t be taken lightly. If both spouses are working there shouldn’t be a need for alimony. Even if one person doesn’t make as much as the other, it shouldn’t matter simply because they are no longer together. The person paying shouldn’t be held accountable for someone else’s living expenses if they are legally divorced or separated. Two adults should be able to live on their own especially if they were living alone before the marriage. Alimony is a joke, it just allows one person to reap the benefits of their hardworking ex-spouse.junyor0169https://www.blogger.com/profile/10204873019585666726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-13456858904911485322009-02-08T21:57:00.001-05:002009-02-08T21:57:00.001-05:00I have to agree and disagree. With most couples i ...I have to agree and disagree. With most couples i have to say that they should split everything down the middle. If you married that person there is a reason you married him or her. There is a rare cases where you have money interfer where you have a rich man or women. In that case it should not be split down the middle. The man or women worked hard for that money so they shouldnt have to split it. But for the most part and average family everything should be split down the middle for everything.Alex370000https://www.blogger.com/profile/04088449964398263837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-37120659270230017662009-02-08T21:57:00.000-05:002009-02-08T21:57:00.000-05:00I will never ask alimony from my spouse no matter...I will never ask alimony from my spouse no matter what circumstances.Take for example the guy who donated a kidney to the wife and asked for alimony after divorse.If i were in that situation,i would never have done that.Reason being i was doing it for the sake of love and to save a soul.When divorse life move on.Just need to forget about the past and focus on the future.I don't see reasons depending on my spouse for survival knowing well that i got the energy to make ends meet. In cases where we have a joined account and several properties,we just have to share everything even.I say alimony should be terminated.Jn2https://www.blogger.com/profile/04867952948204217972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-87236680702033562162009-02-08T21:38:00.000-05:002009-02-08T21:38:00.000-05:00Getting divorced is a nasty thing to go through. T...Getting divorced is a nasty thing to go through. There's always who gets the kids and what kid goes where (if you have kids), also who gets what and its just a terrible and messy process to go through.<BR/><BR/>If the woman was making most the money in the family and the husband has a decent job and can pay for bills then he shouldn't get any money at all. On the other hand if the man is making all the money and the mother is a stay at home mother then she should receive a reasonable amount in order to get a place so she can have time to find a job and get on her feet. If the couple both make the same amount of money they should just split everything down the middle and leave each other and walk the other way. <BR/><BR/>In this case, I believe this man is being ridiculous and selfish to want his kidney back or $1.5 million. If he didn't love his wife then he wouldn't have given it to her in the first place, there had to be a reason for why he did it. He shouldn't expect that back or even the money for it, he should just be happy for whatever he gets out of this divorce.DaLaTiNaChIcKa89https://www.blogger.com/profile/07108735216010297731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-59204479122205462702009-02-08T21:25:00.000-05:002009-02-08T21:25:00.000-05:00Although very different from child support, I beli...Although very different from child support, I believe that alimony is not a topic to simply brush over or ignore. The bond of marriage was originally instituted to be a covenanted commitment even though it is unfortunately many times broken in today’s society. I personally feel that the instatement of an alimony allowance should be enforced, but like many other highly controversial issues, alimony has and continues to be greatly abused. I personally feel that if you engage in a marriage commitment with someone it is and should be a written contract. However, I believe that the amount and type of alimony should be carefully considered by an honest and reliable outside legal source that can regulate and limit the amount and length of the spousal support that is to be given. If I were in this type of situation I would really only hope to get what is fair. I don’t think that it is fair for either partner to be left “high and dry” but I also greatly believe that you should not expect your ex-marriage partner to pay your salary for the rest of their life…nomad0526https://www.blogger.com/profile/06691441628968813202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-87542647467095550252009-02-08T21:05:00.000-05:002009-02-08T21:05:00.000-05:00I think that alimony shouldn't be considered if bo...I think that alimony shouldn't be considered if both people are working because they can both support themselves and once a person is divorced it's best that they keep out of each others’ lives. On the other hand if one of the spouses is stay at home because of family then they should receive some type of financial support because they don’t have a way of supporting themselves after the divorce. For the kidney case I think he is being a little selfish I understand that he is hurt for being cheated on, but he should move forward and let things be. He earns a lot of money anyways so he should let it go.*V@N3*https://www.blogger.com/profile/05401281386676808890noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-15842307144257598692009-02-08T20:35:00.000-05:002009-02-08T20:35:00.000-05:00I would not demand any alimony at all from my ex w...I would not demand any alimony at all from my ex wife. I believe that you should be able to keep what you earn when it comes to wages. Child Support I do believe in because you have to help support kids that can't take care of themselves yet, but you should not have to help support a grown person that is old enough and responsible enough to take care of herself. Prenup is a good thing I beleive, but if you have the question of getting one, then you would have to ask yourself if you really trust the person you are about to marry. I've been married and divorsed and thank god in my situation alimony didn't come into effect because we weren't married long enough. So t oconclude this I would say alimony is crap and people should just split up belongings evenly and figure out child support if it is needed.steven.majdeckihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00253705356598152038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-43740547475439137052009-02-08T20:14:00.000-05:002009-02-08T20:14:00.000-05:00Awarding alimony due to ones finical ability is di...Awarding alimony due to ones finical ability is discriminative at the least. Allowing individuals to ask for alimony just to make up for the change in ones lifestyle is a waste of our court system. If you have been an at home parent and have not worked due to your spouse’s career perhaps then you may ask for help. This would be contingent upon a spouse remarrying and their ability to return work. If you are able to leave the marriage and provide for yourself then you should do just that. This person did not take you on to raise and has every right to move on.Get-Me-A-RedBullhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11494265232595067036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-38962194156361587112009-02-08T20:08:00.000-05:002009-02-08T20:08:00.000-05:00I think that the money should be seperate. Say one...I think that the money should be seperate. Say one person makes all the money and the other sits at home and doesn't contribute, they don't deserve a share of the money if the two decide to splitGuidohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14577667015295885861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-21094988862646505612009-02-08T19:59:00.000-05:002009-02-08T19:59:00.000-05:00Either way someone will get the short end of the s...Either way someone will get the short end of the stick. Someone will be having to pay too much to a undeserving ex spouse, or too little. In my opinion this type of situation should be based on a case by case basis with all the facts reviewed first, its too hard to blanket a issue like this under one law. Coming from a divorced family i semi understand the issue here on a first hand basis, my mother was paid child support by my father, for over 3 of the years that this took place she didnt work at all. Like stated earlier, i feel the only way to do right on each part would be to look at each instant on a case by case basis.anonsyghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03246893665880859402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-32223914569673624962009-02-08T19:36:00.000-05:002009-02-08T19:36:00.000-05:00Honestly I would nt demand alimony from my ex just...Honestly I would nt demand alimony from my ex just because after a divorse I dont thhink I would want any sort of attachment with him. I would get my act and thoughts together and start a new life far away from him. But then again, I've heard of some cases where one of the spouses have given up their full payed scholarships and jobs just for the sake of saying at home and raising a family. In that case, I would think its only fair to get some sort of economical help from their ex, because one of you gave up more than the other for the sake of a happy long life tme marriage :)omayahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14800679515417513116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-74970830233126529932009-02-08T18:53:00.000-05:002009-02-08T18:53:00.000-05:00In today's society alimony has elevated to a whole...In today's society alimony has elevated to a whole other level. People seem to be going outrageous with the term alimony and in the end want everything back including body parts which i think is ridiculous! If you think you are going to be an "indian giver" do not give out what you may think you might want back. Like the article said time has changed to where women are the ones giving out the check in the end of a divorce. Many people might get it mistaken to think that women are always going to win and get the money every month but it doesn't always go like that. I will definitely have to agree with "dr123" and say that there are exceptions to any and everything. If you are divorcing a disabled spouse, the other spouse is of course going to in the end make that person pay the alimony.....which i think is the right way to do it. Some people don't look at both sides of the party and always think that the women are the victims which is not always the case. Marriage is a sacred thing and many people go into marriage with a mindset to get a divorce because the spouse they married has a lot of money. So regardless of religion purposes, and i mean no disrespect to anyone's religion at all, but if you might be having doubts about the marriage or situation, sign a prenup. Don't get me wrong I don't mean to enter into a marriage with the prenup but while in the marriage i do not think it is ever too late to get a prenup and have it signed just for security purposes. It is 2009, and people are very deceiving, they may look very nice but in the end can turn out to be the nastiest person ever! So to sum this whole paragraph up, I would just say be careful in anything you may do in life. As far the guy asking back for his kidney or vice versa, I don't think that should be granted at all but I'm sure some may totally differ with me......Ms.Krissyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09848065118043457581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-45614448581871577382009-02-08T18:02:00.000-05:002009-02-08T18:02:00.000-05:00I would not pursue alimony from my spouse. I would...I would not pursue alimony from my spouse. I would only expect him to take care of his responsibility (his children). I’m an independent woman and will only want things to be handled the right way. If he and I worked together to build our foundation then I will expect everything to be split in half. As a couple/team I believe we put our financials together to handle everything but once we are divorced what is his, he can keep. I believe in a situation where the woman is the homemaker then yes I think it’s only fair for the spouse to pay alimony until the she gets on her feet and vise versa.Nydiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11609551525914216115noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-78350671340010202212009-02-08T17:59:00.000-05:002009-02-08T17:59:00.000-05:00I think alimony should be awarded and adjusted cas...I think alimony should be awarded and adjusted case by case. My mother was married @ 18, she was a typical house wife in the 60's and 70's. She was in charge of the running the house, raising me and my sister, while my father traveled in the Navy and went for schooling throughout his career. After 15 years,she had given him the freedom and support he needed to build his career and become extremely successful. At this point, he had a midlife crisis , started to stray and soon my parents were divorced. My mother had really no skills to support us or herself, she was given very little because he was able to hide a lot and soon she lost her home. She had to go to work in a department store , were she has been for over 2o years, she lives in a finished attic in her brother's house. My mom was 36 when she was divorced and had to conform to a new world, now @ 64 she stills works living paycheck to paycheck. By all means she well deserved alimony and should have been given some provisions to go to school so that she too could build a career and support herself. In big companies or factories that shut down with "lifers" they offer a similar provision. They offer people a chance to go to school and get training in order to be able to support themselves. <BR/><BR/>I built a business w/ my soon to be x-husband of 20years and he is seeking alimony from me. I have been in school, i have raised my children, run the house and run our business, while he did minimal to contribute. I had been mentally abused for a long period of time and forced to wear many hats.<BR/><BR/> Unfortunately all my energy and good will may cost me, i'm worried. He is purposely not working and hasn't done so in awhile in hope to receive alimony from me. This man is very talented and has many skills he could put to use. It's very unfair. He choose to abandon me and our 2 children, so I think in our case things should be split 50/50 and we should just go our separate ways. <BR/><BR/>I highly recommend Prenuptial !! If i were to marry again, i would do a pre nup, no if ands or buts about it. They should really make it a standard! It would have saved me the $20,000 and still going. I am sure that my soon to be x would rather split that then give it to the lawyers i would!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09834692629158503507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-11388043804079391912009-02-08T17:30:00.000-05:002009-02-08T17:30:00.000-05:00buckeyes06 Please email me your name.buckeyes06 <BR/>Please email me your name.Athena Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11483906167304901085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-50985352259423184502009-02-08T17:13:00.000-05:002009-02-08T17:13:00.000-05:00I don't know if alimony should be expected were I ...I don't know if alimony should be expected were I to get a divorce from my spouse. A divorce would be indicative of the fact that somewhere along the line, something went wrong and we did not get along anymore. I do not think that I would want to depend on someone who I was no longer involved with and I think that it would only serve as a constant reminder of something that did not work out in my life. It might be more difficult on me without that extra help, but I think it would help me grow as a person.SingIntoMyMouthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05286654697523454047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1951811281604727291.post-7009601415699671662009-02-08T16:58:00.000-05:002009-02-08T16:58:00.000-05:00I believe that it 100% depends on the situation. ...I believe that it 100% depends on the situation. If i was not the primary wage earner in the household when the marriage went sour then I would expect nothing more than what's mine. Everything that was jointly bought would be split evenly. However there are some circumstances where that isn't possible but I would take it in stride and handle the situation as mature and with as little drama as i could. So my answer to the question is no I wouldn't hold my spouse up to support me. Whatever she makes is rightfully hers and the other way around.buckeyes06https://www.blogger.com/profile/00858044861829362220noreply@blogger.com